Friday, July 21, 2006

MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING

MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING

i know this is long overdue... but i was busy as you'll discover in forthcoming blogs... or maybe i can use the some excuse that the bride gave in her recent blog about taking time getting to things...

Psychoverse newsletter summer 2006 Part 1


So it's been like, you know, almost a year since you've received one of these I'm sure. If it you want your episodic bits then you need to subscribe to my xanga blog. Because some of you just can't wait for the annual psychoverse.

Let's get this damn thing rollin

My Best Friend's Wedding

For some reason I keep visualizing the scene with Cameron Diaz singing horribly at the karaoke place, as if I will eventually overcome my horrible singing voice and just let loose at a bar one night and the women will applaud me, yet be strangely attracted to this odd voice. OK, this has nothing to do with the actual topic

On Memorial Day weekend, my friend Emerson married Jen in Italy. If you know them, you've probably been reading their blog and their worldwide honeymoon. It's the kind of thing that makes you jealous, such as seeing the picture of Victoria Falls. Of course, I think they should have stayed in Germany thru the World Cup but that isn't exactly the point of their travels.

The weekend after that (on my mother's birthday I might add) May and Gregg were married. I had the honor of being the emcee at the reception. Yes, I thought to myself too, Why would anyone let me hold the microphone all night? The lectern was especially cool because with a button I could make it rise or fall.

The days leading up to the wedding were nice. Why? Because I was in Hawaii. Although I didn't take advantage of it as much as I would have liked, I still was able to spend a few days away from the high school. Even though May fell asleep on me and was too tired to come chill with me, she deserved all the rest she could get prior to the blessed event. Plus, the next night I got to see X-men with Gregg and Ian and chill with the guys. I needed a testosterone infusion just to remind me that I was a different kind of maid-of-honor.

By far the best part of the trip for me was meeting up with people I met my last two visits there and getting to know other people important in May's life, such as Tom Brady and the rest of the bridal party. Unfortunately, I really didn't get to spend much time with Edem, Ezra or Chrissa, but I really should take advantage of summer and remember they live in the same state with me.

An unofficial theme of the vacation seemed to be let's see if everybody can get Ian a woman. There seemed to be constant reminders at the wedding that both Ian and I are available, but because more people know Ian who took the brunt of it. I admire him for being a good sport and for letting loose at night a bit more than I had ever seen him, especially after the reception. Sorry no photographic evidence of the evening after parties, unless a few really did show up in the Hawaiian social newspaper called the Midweek or something like that. Plus those pics would not be of Ian but of me with some other bride-to-be who happened to be at Gordan Biersch for her bachelorette party. I always do feel different on the dance floor almost like the real me gets unleashed for a few hours.

The second day I was in Hawaii, I was lucky enough to be Liz' substitute at the Rose Ball girl luncheon at the Pineapple Room. Excellent food. My brother and his fiancee ended up going there later in the week thanks to May's recommendation. At the moment of that meal, I began to finally relax. I truly felt away from California and started to focus on the event at hand. I can't even imagine the chaos that could happen with Lance's wedding next year, also in Hawaii and again a week prior to me giving senior finals.

After lunch I got to hang with Gregg and we ended up at a comic store, the movies, and this place called, Side Street Cafe, I think, which had some of the best damn pork chops EVER!!!!!!!

The next day things were more hectic. It was Friday, which meant rehearsal, dinner, and the last night to take Gregg out, despite some of the guys thinking I would kill things being May's friend and all. I think May is right I probably could have been the most corrupting influence, if it wasn't so much fun watching Mr. Tom Brady, May's co-worker who is her counterpart in Pensacola, Florida.

Side note: I got to crash in the groom's room the night before the wedding. Which means, the last person the groom slept with before his wedding night was the maid-of-honor. Ha ha ha ha

Finally, the blessed date June 3 my mother's birthday

Pictures were first. And I was so glad that I wasn't in a tuxedo. The cool part of the picture sessions I thought were when we left the premises of the hotel and took pictures walking thru Waikiki. I can't wait to see what they looked like.

Now the time between pics & ceremony was just agonizing. All I wanted was to drink, but I kept thinking I better not so that I'm fine during the reception. But, I really needed to relax. It was hot and I was stressing about what to say, especially when Liz asked me what I was going to say in my speech. Thankfully, Gene, May's brother, brought me to the poolside bar and got me some Remy to relax. Admittedly, whenever I saw Gene it was his house and I never really hung out with him. I ended up getting to know him a whole better after spending the better part of the next 15 hours with him.

The Buddhist ceremony was beautiful, albeit very soft in volume without a PA system. The nicest thing about it for me was that it was a nice departure from all the Catholic weddings I usually attend. The setting was the middle courtyard, and I just kept staring at all the people who were watching from afar. The moment drew many eyes as you’d expect with such a beautiful gathering of people.

Here is my favorite pic from the ceremony:

The happy newlyweds taking their first steps toward matrimonial bliss

So my part of the festivities finally began after a few more beers. Although I agreed to do the MC gig sans alcohol, I must admit to nerves. Because I just couldn't stop sweating, it took me hours to finally acclimate to the ballroom. In the video I'm sure you can see me constantly wiping the stress sweat off my forehead with my hanky.

Overall, I think I did a decent job. Some of the critiques I've heard are that May's co-workers think I'm in love with her, I forgot to explain the goings-on in Denver (which would just further me jokingly blame everything on Enterprise), and I didn't provide the full circle closure of the princess motif of my speech: I forgot the glass slipper and some of the fairy tale ending.

Some interesting things from the evening. We had two celebrities in attendance: Tom Brady (see above) and Sarah Lee (one of the bridesmaids). I became reacquainted with May's co-workers I had met four years earlier. In particular, Reiko and Richard were sitting at the same table with my family, and Lance used the opportunity to quiz them on wedding ideas. The lectern had a button that would allow it to be raised or lowered and I kept playing with it. Ian getting the garter, though he really had no choice. Two intriguing slideshows: one made of everyone that day, and the cool retrospective one of the couple with some very cool transitions (evidently the program was imported from Japan and not available here yet).

The reception moved along smoothly and quickly. Well, except for the moment, May went to change dresses and I had to lead a rousing game of Simon Says to determine who would win the table's centerpiece. One trouble gave me particular trouble. I got the final two to come to the dance floor and I couldn't get them out, until, a stroke of genius, I will have them settle it with rock-paper-scissors, Joyce turned to play, but Johnny gave in and gave up to Joyce. But you know what I didn't say Simon Says and Joyce would have lost. But Johnny is a gentleman and so ended my teacher moment that only reaffirmed why I would never be an elementary school teacher.

so here's what the prize centerpiece looked like thru my lens... incidentally my punk brother who knew my routine won a teaset.


One of the more memorable moments of my time in Hawaii was the party after the reception. I didn't feel like going back to my hotel. I kept pushing for let's do more and Gene was all for it. May & Gregg attempted to join us, but let's face it, they had to consummate their union. So, Keala, Ian, & Tiffany from Hawaii and Gene, Liz & I from California went to hang out. Duke's had closed, it was 1 in the morning after all at this point. We ended up at Moose McGillicuddy's.

Promptly, I felt wonderfully violated for the second time on the vacation. There was an earlier moment when I enjoyed a full body shake press with the waitress' bosom in my face at Gordon Biersch. Here though, imagine the bar and the dancers spilling into every available piece of floor as I stood next to the bar. A girl began to freak me and then turned and grinded her ass into my pelvis. Suddenly she keeps backing up and reaches around and grabs a handful of my jeans so to speak. Unfortunately she didn't appeal to me, but the people I was with had an eyeful and gave me a hard time the rest of the night, especially whenever she walked by.

For some reason I just wanted to down beers all night. I was trying to get Ian to down one with me but he wussed out, but Liz came to his rescue and took the beer and slammed it down with authority putting Ian down to a brief round of jeers and shame. All I wanted was to just to forget the stress of earlier in the evening and the fact that I had to go back to work and give finals. I was drinking so much and fast that people around me were watching just to see if I'd keep going, particularly some women around me. Much of the time Gene and Liz joined in the downing of Ale. Keala was trying to get me to slow it down and he kept commenting on how us Californians need to learn to relax and savor. But I needed to pound it to relax. The worst part, I never felt much more than a slight buzz and I blew about a hundred bucks and the beers weren't expensive.

After closing at 3am, we went to a small strip of beach near the hotel and we just sobered up with the sunrise at about 6am. Those 3 hours were great on the beach just talking and getting to know the other 5 people around me. I hung out with Ian on previous trips to Hawaii, but it was great to see him more carefree and nurturing. Although I've known Liz and Gene for years, we never really got to just chill out together. Tiffany & Keala are great people and I hope to get to see more of them on subsequent visits. I think there should be a one anniversary reunion of this gathering next May when I'm there in Hawaii for my brother's wedding. And this time my sister will be there, and she's the biggest lush in the family.

I rested on Sunday, waking up late and soaking in the ocean, hanging out with Lance and Mary Anne. I had to be at the airport at 5:30 am.

When I did arrive back at SFO, I saw this girl almost fall off the roof of her family's car, kinda odd that she was even there!

Here's the picture in which many people think I'm the groom


The old high school gang but after seeing it Edem really should've in it. I remember I only wanted to take this pic because our parents took one with each other








May trying to be Kim Cattrall in Mannequin

walking amonst the tourists


The calm before the storm and check out the beautiful www.halekulani.com

Check out the website and look at the views from the hotel suites' yours for 400-500 bucks a night


And the most awesome gift EVER! May and Gregg were able to commission and original work from artist Peter Gross of Books of Magic fame, here's his rendering of Death as an English teacher, woo hoo, make sure this is in my coffin when I go to see her

next issue: more varicose veins and softball incidents
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